• 6 Step Guide To Boost Your Self- Confidence

    Self-confidence is something everyone battles with. Even the most confident do have days when they have very little self believe. Insecurities about our physical image, our abilities and achievements can improve. In this post, I share with you a 6 step guide to building self-confidence. These steps require mental preparedness and physical actions that would help combat insecurities and build on our strengths. Before we get going, it is ideal that we have a look at some definitions. The term self- confidence is often used interchangeably with self- esteem and although these words are somewhat similar in practice, they do refer to two distinct things. According to Healthy Place,

    Selfesteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall; how much esteem, positive regard or self-love you have. Selfesteem develops from experiences and situations that have shaped how you view yourself today. Self- confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation”. Healthy Place

    Self- Confidence

    Desist from Social Media Comparisons

    I feel that this deserves a number one on our list. We live in a period where there is a redefinition of what real is. Where the narrative on the factual, is reliant on a warped idea that society has ardently established as the status quo. Truthfully, we can hardly tell the real apart from the unreal sometimes. We cannot be reminded enough that human beings come in different shapes, with rolls of skin, without rolls of skin, with a belly, without a belly, with big bosoms and without big bosoms. These variations are all normal and beautiful in their own right. However societal projections of ideal beauty has clouded our thinking and has become the cause of many unnecessary mental health problems among our youth.

    Self- Confidence

    Rediscover Beauty

    Beauty has become so associated with superficial things.  However, the word beauty has both physical and perceptual connotations. It denotes quality, good, wonder and excellence. If you look at it that way, then how beautiful is creation in itself! Look at how our bodies we sometimes consider ugly, heals itself when we are unwell. Look at how the different parts of our bodies function, think about how our imagination works. Trust me, we have a bigger purpose on this earth than to dwell in vanity. So the fact that the world has placed a focus on a definition of beauty and defined features that are considered beautiful doesn’t mean it’s the fact. The standards of beauty in this word differ in places and is also dependent on which celebrity is trending at a given moment. Why would we focus our attention on a standard that is this fleeting? An absolute waste of time and energy.

    Positive Affirmation.

    How we feel about ourselves differ each day. We have all suffered this fate and that is absolutely normal. There are days when I wake up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and I’m filled with shock horror at what is staring back at me. There are also days that I look at my image in the mirror and think to myself girl, you look fabulous and no one can tell you nothing! The interesting thing about these two different days is that, it is the same image that is staring back at me (unless of course there is something physiologically different from usual), the difference is the mind-set. How we feel and what we think about do have a bearing on how we see ourselves. Sometimes it is not just about how we look but what we think about ourselves and our ability to succeed in our lives.

    “Conditioning my mind to ward off the negative is a practice I espouse, the very catalyst that speeds up my growth in building self- confidence. Positive affirmations that reinforce our worth are mental exercises that help us embrace our inner strength to overcome negativity”- Marianne Nambu.Self-confidence

    My favourite affirmations include:

    • I am worthy of love,
    • Good things come to me,
    • I have a heart full of gratitude and
    • I succeed in whatever I do.

    I Know how ridiculous it is to recite words to yourself, but think about the benefits it has had for many. Find a private place and recite audibly your positive affirmations until you believe them. The mind is a receptor, feed it with positive things and that is what will be the truth that guides your believes and actions. I use an app on my phone that reminds me to do my affirmations and also has a list of positive affirmations to choose from in such  categories as health, wealth and stress. You can download it for free on both Android and Apple app stores.
    Self- Confidence

    Know Your Strength

    We all excel at different things. Sometimes we get so drawn to what others are excelling at to determine what we do, which results in us struggling fruitlessly and leading us to self-destructive thoughts and behaviour. By all means, try new ventures to see where your strength is at, but if something doesn’t work even though we have tried it a 1000 times, maybe it is a clue to change the strategy.  Let’s face it, not everyone is great at calculus but they may be amazing at public speaking or perhaps writing, makeup or outfit styling. We all have our strengths and talents. We need to stop focusing on others to focus on ourselves to know who we are.


    Listen to people who have your goodwill at heart.  Associate yourself with people who are driven, do forget about negative people and surround yourself with people who inspire you. When you find these people, ask them to tell you who they think you are and what your strengths are. As I previously said, we are sometimes side-tracked by what others are doing and do not have the time to learn who we are. Have you ever realised, that sometimes people seem to know you more than you know yourself? Notice how when you complain to people about your insecurities, they usually seem surprised and starts to tell you how good you are and how worst their situation may be? This is the point where you listen. First, you may learn things about you that you never realised and second, the lesson is that whether it is true in the particular situation or not, someone always has it bad than you do. Pick yourself up and soar!

    Self- ConfidenceSelf- Confidence

    Remove Negative Labels

    Humans have formed the habit of labelling everything. Although it may be good in certain situations, it becomes totally destructive in other cases. The interesting thing about labelling is that it isn’t always what others do to us, but what we do to ourselves. Labelling ourselves incapable, indecisive, ugly, fat, too tall, too short, boring, lack lustre etc. gets ingrained in our being and leads us to fulfil self-destructive prophecies which are killers of our self- confidence. If you want to be confident, act the part. Body language and speaking with clarity are characteristics that denote confidence. When we cower behind muffled word, we give off a sense of unsureness. Self- confidence makes us beautiful, if you find yourself and own it, you will perhaps be the new standard of beauty for someone else.

    My little suggestion in removing labels from ourselves is to take each label and dissect it. Write down everything you think that you do that justifies that label being placed on you and find out what actions will lead to removing those characteristics. Identify your weaknesses and work on them. For example, if you suffer with  laziness finding the motivation to be productive, make a physical effort to follow a well-planned ‘to do’ list. Organise your life and make the effort to stick to a routine. Simply, (well not so simply), envision your ideal situation and work towards achieving it. But always remember to take small steps and not to be inordinately ambitious, that could overwhelm you and break you down even more. You can check out my previous post on 5 Key Ways To Stay organised for some ideas.

    6 Step Guide To Boost Your Self- Confidence

     I am beautiful, You are beautiful, We all are beautiful

     Comment below what makes you beautiful. I am open to be enamoured with how amazing you all are in your different ways.

    Love Marianne xx

    SHOP THE POSTBlazer: sold out, similar style HERE

    Trousers:sold out, similar style  HERE

    Belt: HERE

    Sandals: HERE

    Glasses: HERE

    Bracelet: HERE

    Bag: SIMILAR

    Earrings: SIMILAR

    Phone case: HERE discount code HAUTEANDCOMELY55

    Recommended books


    xx This post is not sponsored. It however contains affiliate links xx


    1. Written by Neea
      September 12, 2018 / 3:39 pm

      This post was so helpful! Gotta say that I love your outfit in those pictures!

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 12, 2018 / 2:43 pm

        Thanks Neea, Im glad that you found it helpful

    2. Josephine
      September 12, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      I love this post. I needed some positivity in my life.

    3. Ama Duncan
      September 12, 2018 / 6:30 pm

      The outfit! The shoes!

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 12, 2018 / 5:31 pm

        😉thanks dear

    4. September 12, 2018 / 8:20 pm

      YES! What a wonderful list. It’s so important to not only stop comparing ourselves to everyone on social media, but to also embrace failure as part of growing. We’re never going to get better at something if we don’t try and stumble at first. Failure at something does not define us—just something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. Great post!

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 12, 2018 / 7:21 pm

        Thank you so much Nathalie, you are absolutely right

    5. September 13, 2018 / 1:07 am

      You are a beautiful person with wonderful advice! Thanks so much for sharing. Lately, I have caught myself sometimes comparing myself with others on social media … definitely need to get out of doing that. I love all your helpful tips, especially the positive affirmations… that is a hard one, but I am going to make a point to try it.

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 13, 2018 / 7:38 am

        Thanks Kristina, I’m glad that you found it useful. I also catch myself every now and again, comparing myself with others. It is human nature. So far as we prompt ourselves and get back on track, that is all that matters. Lots of love to you

    6. September 13, 2018 / 8:11 am

      Articles of this type are so badly needed to bolster those lacking in confidence. Thanks for sharing.

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 13, 2018 / 9:48 am

        You are welcome

    7. September 13, 2018 / 9:40 am

      Some very good tips on here that I’m sure a lot of people could use. There’s so much pressure on people these days that it’s hard to stop comparisons but self confidence is key

      • Marianne Nambu
        September 13, 2018 / 9:48 am

        You are right. Thanks for reading

    8. September 13, 2018 / 11:22 am

      This is a great post and written with confidence! I like the way you posted pictures of yourself with different postures and expressions to illustrate what you wrote. Great stuff. This is the second time I try to write this comment so it maybe that two show up.

    9. September 13, 2018 / 12:17 pm

      This is a very nice post and it is written with confidence. I love the way you put pictures of yourself with specific poses and expressions to illustrate what you are writing about. Great stuff!

    10. brandy toenges
      September 13, 2018 / 3:16 pm

      Love those tips! Especially the positive affirmations to ones self!

    11. September 13, 2018 / 4:43 pm

      I love the affirmations you listed – I need to post them on my wall! And you’re outfit is amazing – you radiate confidence ❤

    12. September 13, 2018 / 6:46 pm

      I love your outfits. I definitely have to work on my confidence. 🙂

    13. September 13, 2018 / 7:07 pm

      Very well written I agree that social media has really made people start to compare and has gaslighted the entire “keeping up with the Jones” scenario, which is a shame. I find a lot of solace in the number of blogs I see that are run by creators that stay authentic to themselves, verses the ones that walking talk tv advertisements.

    14. September 14, 2018 / 5:05 am

      Beautifully said! So helpful and real! Thank you for sharing

    15. September 14, 2018 / 12:13 pm

      Social media can give you such a negative view of your own achievements. When I’m feeling down I leave the phone and laptop alone for a while and just enjoy the real things in life.

    16. Angela
      September 14, 2018 / 2:03 pm

      Great tips! I think it’s so important to rid yourself of “energy vampires” negative people who suck your positive energy and make you feel bad about yourself. The older I get the more important It is for me to surround myself with people who are positive, who inspire me and who cheer for my success. I have found that most people are uncomfortable when their “friends” are doing well or are feeling confident and so those people need to go!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *